taken
from lesbian herstory
Partners
National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples
Summary of Results
In
the fall of 1988, this major survey was undertaken to develop an accurate
portrait of lesbian and gay couples in America. Survey forms were
circulated through gay churches and community centers, but most couples
requested the forms after reading notices in the gay press. Partners
Magazine for Gay & Lesbian Couples and Out/Look (both
now discontinued) and a few gay newspapers published the survey itself.
Data was collected through fall 1989. The entire project was developed
and conducted by Steve Bryant and Demian, Ed.D., co-directors of Partners
Task Force For Gay & Lesbian Couples.
The survey
drew a total of 1,749 responses, representing 1,266 couples — 706
lesbian couples (56%) and 560 male couples (44%). In some cases, both
partners of a couple submitted a survey; in others, only one partner
did. For purposes of statistical analysis, responses were weighted
so that each couple was counted only once.
Respondents
provided demographic information, such as age and education, for both
themselves and their partners. This summary reports only information
for the respondents since it differs little from the information they
provided for their partners.
Because
figures are rounded, columns may not total 100 percent.
An academic
presentation of key findings from this survey appears in a couples-oriented
issue of the Journal of Gay and Lesbian Social Services (Vol.
1, #2, 1994) and in Social Services for Gay and Lesbian Couples
(Lawrence Kurdick, ed., 1994), both from Haworth Press.
LENGTH OF RELATIONSHIP
Average years Women 4.9 | Men 6.9
Relationships averaged nearly six years in length for all couples,
even though the average respondent was only 35 years old.
More than 100 couples had passed their 15th anniversary.
One lesbian relationship had spanned 43 years, and three male
couples had lasted more than 40 years. 19% of lesbian couples
and 13% of male couples had been together one year or less.
NUMBER OF PREVIOUS MAJOR GAY/LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS
Women(%) Men(%)
None 32 38
One 26 33
Two 23 18
Three 10 7
Four 4 3
Five or more 5 1
Average number 1.52 1.07
YEARS IN PREVIOUS MAJOR GAY/LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS
Women (%) Men (%)
None 1 2
1 year 8 20
2 years 12 22
3 years 10 13
4 years 11 10
5 years 10 9
6 years 8 4
7 years 6 4
8 years 5 4
9 years 5 2
10 years 7 3
11-15 years 12 4
16 or more 6 2
Average yrs 6.6 4.2
PREVIOUS HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCE
Women(%) Men(%)
Never married 73 81
Married once 23 18
Married twice 4 1
Thrice or more <1 <1
WHERE COUPLES MET
Women(%) Men(%)
Friends 28 19
Work 21 7
Social event 16 13
School* 9 3
Bar 4 22
Religious event 4 7
Political event 4 4
Support group* 3 2
Park/public space* 2 6
Classified ad 2 6
Baths/cruising* <1 5
Other 5 6
* write-in response
SEXUAL ORIENTATION
Women(%) Men(%)
Gay/lesbian 93 97
Bisexual 7 3
AGE
Women Men
Average years 34.7 36.5
RACE
Women(%) Men(%)
White 95 95
Latino/Latina 2 2
Black 2 1
Asian/Pacific Islander 1 1
Native American <1 <1
Other <1 <1
CLASS BACKGROUND
Women(%) Men(%)
Working class 31 33
Middle class 60 62
Moneyed class 6 4
Other 1 1
Poor/welfare* 1 <1
* Write-in response
EDUCATION
Women Men
Average years 16.7 16.8
73% of women and 72% of men had at least four years of college.
POLITICAL ORIENTATION
Women(%) Men(%)
Very liberal 39 29
Liberal 40 44
Moderate 19 21
Conservative 2 5
Very conservative <1 1
RELIGION
Women(%) Men(%)
Protestant 25 32
Atheist/agnostic 23 25
Catholic 14 21
Jewish 10 7
Pagan/Goddess/Wicca 6 2
Unitarian 3 2
Eastern religion 1 1
Quaker 1 <1
Other 9 7
No response or
uninterpretable 9 4
INCOME
Women(%) Men(%)
$8,000 or below 10 8
$8,001 - 15,000 17 12
$15,001 - 25,000 27 26
$25,001 - 40,000 33 29
$40,001 - 65,000 11 16
above $65,000 3 9
INCOME SHARING
Women(%) Men(%)
Entirely shared 39 41
Partly shared 36 41
Not shared 25 19
EMPLOYER-PROVIDED BENEFITS FOR PARTNER
Women(%) Men(%)
Health coverage 4 6
Other benefits 5 7
TYPES OF DISCRIMINATION ENCOUNTERED AS A COUPLE
Women(%) Men(%)
Employment benefits 58 40
Taxes 47 37
Insurance 46 34
Membership 20 11
Credit/banking 15 10
Employment 14 13
Housing 11 11
Hotels 6 6
Hospital visitation 6 2
Adoption 5 2
Foster care 3 2
Other 7 4
None/none indicated 23 34
WHERE COUPLE LIVES
Women(%) Men(%)
Urban gay neighborhood 50 66
Urban area 11 9
Suburban area 29 15
Rural area 11 9
LIVING TOGETHER
Women(%) Men(%)
Always 75 82
Sometimes 12 11
Never 12 6
RESIDENCE STATUS
Women(%) Men(%)
Jointly owned 32 36
Owned by one partner 24 24
Rented/leased by both 33 27
Rented/leased by one 11 13
NUMBER OF CHILDREN CARED FOR
Women(%) Men(%)
None 79 91
One 10 5
Two 8 3
Three 2 1
Four or more 2 1
SOURCE OF CHILDREN
Women(%) Men(%)
Previous marriage 74 79
Alternative
insemination 13 0
Adoption 7 8
Foster parent program 3 6
Other source 11 11
PLANS FOR CHILDREN (OR MORE CHILDREN)
Women(%) Men(%)
Not planning 60 68
Considering 20 9
Planning 10 4
No response 10 20
SEXUAL AGREEMENTS
Women(%) Men(%)
Monogamy 91 63
Monogamy w/agreed
exceptions 7 26
Non-monogamy 3 11
FREQUENCY OF BREAKING SEXUAL AGREEMENTS
Women(%) Men(%)
Never 90 63
Rarely 8 28
Sometimes 1 8
Often <1 2
PARTNER'S ADMITTED FREQUENCY OF BREAKING SEXUAL AGREEMENTS
Women(%) Men(%)
Never 93 73
Rarely 7 21
Sometimes <1 6
Often <1 <1
FREQUENCY OF SEX WITH PARTNER PER MONTH
Women(%) Men(%)
None 3 6
1 15 5
2 12 8
3 10 5
4 15 10
5-9 19 27
10-15 14 25
16 or more 11 15
Average 7.1 10.1
Median 4 8
QUALITY OF SEX WITH PARTNER
Women(%) Men(%)
Excellent 54 34
Good 24 33
Satisfactory 16 25
Unsatisfactory 7 9
FREQUENCY OF OUTSIDE SEX PER MONTH
Women(%) Men(%)
None 98 78
1 1 10
2 <1 5
3 <1 3
4 <1 2
5-10 <1 2
11 or more <1 1
Average 0.06 0.63
ROLE OF AIDS
In forming relationship:
Women(%) Men(%)
None 91 72
Minor 8 21
Major 1 8
In continuing relationship:
None 79 52
Minor 18 34
Major 3 14
RISK FOR AIDS
Women(%) Men(%)
Not at risk 93 62
At risk 7 28
HIV-Positive <1 8
Person with AIDS/aRC 0 2
Other <1 1
SAFETY OF SEX IN RELATIONSHIP DURING LAST YEAR
Women(%) Men(%)
HIV-Negative &
monogamous 54 34
Safe 30 32
Possibly safe 9 17
Unsafe 5 12
Didn't have sex 2 5
SAFETY OF SEX OUTSIDE RELATIONSHIP DURING LAST YEAR
Women(%) Men(%)
Didn't have
outside sex 90 58
Safe 5 30
Possibly safe 4 10
Unsafe 2 2
PARTNER'S SAFETY OF SEX OUTSIDE RELATIONSHIP DURING LAST YEAR
Women(%) Men(%)
Didn't have
outside sex 86 54
Safe 4 20
Possibly safe 3 7
Unsafe 1 1
Don't know 6 19
TWO GREATEST CHALLENGES TO RELATIONSHIP
Women(%) Men(%)
Communication 42 49
Career 26 30
Relatives 26 18
Sex 25 22
Money 25 28
Health 9 12
Co-workers 3 2
Neighbors 1 1
Other 23 13
RELATIONSHIP HAS SUFFERED FROM
Women(%) Men(%)
Partner's
Verbal abuse 17 15
Substance abuse 7 11
Physical abuse 3 3
Respondent's
Verbal abuse 19 16
Substance abuse 8 8
Physical abuse 3 2
BIG ARGUMENTS PER MONTH
Women(%) Men(%)
None 57 65
One 31 26
Two 9 6
Three or more 3 4
Average number 1.0 0.6
SMALL ARGUMENTS PER MONTH
Women(%) Men(%)
None 10 13
One 21 20
Two 28 26
Three 14 14
Four 11 10
Five 5 6
Six or more 11 12
Average number 3.5 3.7
SOUGHT RELATIONSHIP HELP
Women(%) Men(%)
[found helpful] [found helpful]
from:
Friend 47 [92] 43 [93]
Counselor 45 [92] 27 [92]
Relative 9 [86] 7 [82]
Clergy 4 [80] 5 [80]
PREFERRED NAME FOR PARTNER
Women(%) Men(%)
Partner/life partner 35 27
Lover 30 40
Spouse 10 9
Roommate/friend 7 5
Mate/life mate 4 6
Boyfriend/girlfriend 2 2
Husband/wife 1 1
Multiple responses 9 8
Other 2 4
LEGAL ARRANGEMENTS
Women(%) Men(%)
Done [Planned] Done [Planned]
Will 32 [46] 39 [40]
Power of Attorney 28 [41] 27 [29]
Partnership/Living
Together Agreement 9 [18] 10 [13]
Other 6 [4] 3 [1]
DEGREE OF COMMITMENT
Women(%) Men(%)
For life 67 76
For a long time 25 20
For a while 7 4
Briefly <1 0
RELATIONSHIP RITUALS
Women(%) Men(%)
Held ceremony 19 11
Wear ring/symbol 57 36
Other ritual 12 9
QUALITY OF RELATIONSHIP
Women(%) Men(%)
1 (Highest) 47 36
2 32 39
3 13 15
4 2 4
5 2 3
6 2 3
7 (Lowest) 1 1
Average rating 1.9 2.1
SOURCES OF SUPPORT
(rated from 1 = strong support to 7 = hostile)
Women Men
Gay friends 1.50 1.65
Gay church 1.59 1.99
Lesbian/gay
couples group 1.63 1.77
Other gay organizations 1.69 1.91
Other friends 2.15 2.09
Co-workers 2.72 2.55
Siblings 2.82 2.80
Boss 2.84 2.78
Mother 3.34 2.98
Other relatives 3.44 3.34
Father 3.71 3.37
Church 4.22 4.54
Average rating 2.64 2.65
SOURCE OF SURVEY RESPONSES
Women(%) Men(%)
Unknown (gay/lesbian
newspapers, political,
social & religious
gay groups) 56 52
Out/Look magazine 34 27
Partners Newsletter 3 13
Other 8 8